I lost my grandmother this morning. Leaving behind a huge hole in me.
My mother called to break the news and I broke down. I sobbed. I cried like I did when my grandfather (her husband) died, almost 15 years ago. This news tears at the very core of who I am, because some of who I am is from her. So many great memories I have in my life include her.
I am sad, but I am cleansed. The tears enable me to let go. Not of her so much as the junk that was building up in me. The sadness and pain and sorrow was released in that moment when I allowed myself to break down.
I think women understand this a lot better than men do. Traditionally, we tend to hold it in, but we end up depriving ourselves of a very basic function that we were created for.
I doubt I am finished crying over this. I will attend the funeral and that will no doubt be hard. But I know how good it will feel to let go knowing she is with our Father and the man she loved here on earth.
Until we meet again, Oooo.
("Oooo", pronounced EU-eu, was the name we used to refer to my grandmother)